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It's been a while update.   
01:06am 27/12/2009
  Lately I've not been posting on livejournal.. more so notes on facebook since most everyone is there these days. Then I started a blog at http://www.adarichan.blogspot.com/ . I figure I should still make an update over here though, especially since I can't upload pictures for my blog right now.

I moved to Japan in October to find work. Several jobs offered to hire me, but with no positions available to give me.. with that hope, I knew I was fine early on. After about a month and a half to 2 months of serarching, I got a job! Both Celes and I have secured work! Since October, we have lived in Tokyo and Tsuruga, and have been traveling to different locations for about the past weekl and a half now. Tokyo and Tsuruga are well documented in the blog. We started out in Kobe last week, staying with our friend Jen. Lots of fun spoiled times there! She was quite good to us, and we had super fun times just hanging out. Jen is my out of America American friend. We're both American, but have only met up in Finland and Japan! Her housemate is a Japanese hostess, which was also pretty interesting. We learned many new interesting things, and it was always good times.

After leaving Kobe a few days ago, we met up with Aaron in Hiroshima, got some Hiroshima style okonomiyaki, and then headed on our way to Shimonoseki. Shimonoseki is super small, and when we arrived, we had no luck, finding a place to stay. Finally I decided to wander into a video rental shop and ask for the nearest manga kissa(net cafe). The guy working there said that the nearest was quite far away.. but if we were willing to wait half an hour, he'd drive us over there. He taught us the term, "ichigoichie" meaning once in a life time experience to be treasured. I'm thankful for everything that happened that night, he took amazing care of us, and I really feel the presense of compassion again.
After that day, we spent the next one literally just walking. We walked over 10 miles, including under an ocean from one major island to another of Japan... from Honshuu to Kyuushuu. We ended up spending the night at a manga kissa in kyuushuu, and training back to shimonoseki the next day.
Yesterday was Christmas, and as planned, we took a ferry to Korea on this day. Ever since dad died, I decided that I hated Christmas. I've always tried to keep a tradition of seeing a movie on Christmas, but it was still never very fulfilling. This year I decided to throw away tradition, and try to start something new! In Japan.. and Korea for that matter.. can't really speak for the rest of Asia... Christmasd is not really a big deal. It's like Valentines day literally. In Japan, the tradition is to go on a date for fried chicken on Christmas. In Korea, it is to get a Christmas cake! So for my new Christmas, I decided to be jolly, and merry everyone's Christmas up./ Everytime anyone looked at me, I said "merry christmas!" and they often responded the same. On the boat, many people began to say merry christmas everytime they saw me! So ironic that I've hated Christmas for years now, yet now I'm probably known to a bunch of people as the christmas girl... It's a differnet thing over here, so it doesn't bother me at all.
Since arriving here in Korea today, we've spent a lot of time wandering around. As I said the Christmas tradition in Korea is a cake. Now that Christmas is over, the cakes are cheap, and in all awesomeness, they come with free super awesome animal hats! I got a cake for us from Dunkin Donuts! Everything here is quite cheap. Today I spent money on a voltage converter, new shirt, cake and hat, trainfare, eatting out, and a coin locker, a net cafe for 5 hours, followed by another 10 hours for sleeping in tonight, and the total still came out to under $40!
Over all, life is just crazy right now. Haven't slept in the same place more than one night in a row in a longer and longer time now. We have no concept of where we'll be, or when we'll be there. It's a crazy but fun times.. and that's about all for now!
somehow livejournal was built for emo   
12:16am 20/08/2009
  I guess I'm using other services to update on other news, and keeping livejournal for stuff close to my heart. I've had this account longer than five years, maybe that's why. As of September seventh this year, my father will be five years away from me. It is the most terrifying thought in the world to me, how much farther it keeps becoming. I just looked at my wall, and almost everything on it was from after he died. I can't bare how much has changed when I look around. I enjoy my life so much right now. I have amazing friends, amazing times, everything feels in so much progression. One of his best friends has become one of my best friends. I've begun collecting stories from friends of his of their favourite times with him, but somehow he still keeps feeling farther and farther away. I try to recall memories, any solid memories, and there just aren't anymore. There's lots of scattered memories, tons of bits and pieces throughout the years, but in the end it all blurs together in one giant blob of everything that's left of him in my mind. I want more of him, I want to talk to my father so badly right now, and it's been a long time since I've had an urge quite this strong. It's become nearly impossible for me to cry as of late, no matter how upset I feel, this is a rare occasion that quite so many tears are brought on. So maybe I'm crying for something... but it's impossible for what I'd like the most. Though if he were actually here, who knows who I'd be today.

I guess I'll end this with a message for my father: I love you. I'm sorry that I was ever so terrible to you, but I guess that's just how stupid children are when they don't realize how much you really care. I get so jealous and mad at myself every time I see any friend mad at a parent anymore.. And it's thanks to all of this that I finally understand mom so much more now. Thank you so much for the amazing times... I hope your spirit is traveling well...
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A comment on the city of Baltimore   
08:42am 14/08/2009

So I just found out about this last night. Granted I was away for a week at worldcon.. The fact that this story wasn't big enough that it took me 3 weeks to find out about, and when I heard about it, and did research about it, the article is in no way discussing the severity of the crime rates so much as giving people to gossip about. I know every neighborhood here where these people were shot, and no one is creating a fuss about it. A point was made to me when this came up, that if only one hopkins student were shot, we'd be hearing about the uproar for months. It's just depressing that in our world, the media, the police, everyone is deciding that some people are less important than others. Why our mayor took 3 million dollars from a barely functioning education system to give to a corrupt police force that isn't solving any problems anyway, I will never understand. Coming from experience working in an after school program that really makes a difference in this city, I just don't know what's going through folks minds, letting these things happen, and letting people get away with it.
lost faith.   
12:20am 17/06/2009
  I'm making this post because things that used to be very personal to me often no longer seem so any more. Vise versa, things that I never noticed before have come to light in ways that I never believed possible, and I don't know what to think or who to turn to as of now, so I guess I'll just make this post for the internet as a whole. Being with Celeste has fundamentally changed me. Before Celeste, I was often by myself, I had an image of this solo cute girl that everyone loves, or at least that's how I felt. There was always the non solo part of me, with Jason, whom I love and have cared deeply for, though being polyamorous, and always putting my friends and others at a high priority, I believe I still had a fairly solo image, which attracted many people towards me, in many ways.

In being with Celeste, several things have changed about me. The first happens with any new relationship, that Celeste and I have practically a merged identity now, it kind of feels. When people think of me, they automatically think of Celeste too. This happens a lot I find, with new folk together, the whole inseparable thing... and I like being that way with Celeste, although I must say that I do sometimes miss my single entity existence, and I'm kind of working towards re establishing this, though that doesn't mean I want to be apart from Celes, I'm sure that a fair portion of you understand what I mean by this.

The next thing that has changed, is how I see the world. I have become very jaded being in this relationship, and if you read this Celeste, don't think that this means I am unhappy with you in any way. Quite contrary, this has actually drawn me further to you, so don't expect that I will in any way ever be deterred from you. Since being with Celeste, I have had people that I have known for years now, whom many have been quite fond of me, knowing everything about me I felt there was to know, decide to stop associating with me. In the most extreme case, a very good friend of mine whom lives in the neighbourhood actually threatened to physically harm either Celeste or I if come across again. In less extreme cases, many times hanging out with friends, they will still refer to Celeste as "he." I correct them every time I feel that they may be unaware, though in the end, it often doesn't make any difference. There have been many other instances, where in general, I thought people were much better than I feel they're proving themselves to be. And when they attack her, I feel personally attacked myself. Not specifically because I'm with her, but because I'm witnessing a constant act of discrimination that I don't feel anyone should have to suffer. For those of you reading this that may have been a part of it, and perhaps not realized how offensive it is, the only way I can best suggest is to think of yourself as who you are, and imagine constantly being denied the acknowledgement of it, and if there's any way that you can relate to this, then maybe you'll understand. For those of you who may accidently say it here and there, or perhaps have no ill intentions of it, I understand there's that side of the case to, and I understand that it can be a mistake, or maybe just a difficult brain process, if you happen to see her and see masculine traits which you just connect things without really thinking about.

In the end of all this, I'm not asking for apologies. I'm making a statement about the things I've seen, and how they've affected me and changed me. I know many of us have much less obvious identity markers that may be important to us, and they may not be as prevalently discussed or thought of as gender. I'm asking for an effort towards change. I intend to make a difference in my lifetime, and I don't specifically know what that difference will be right now, but for now, I'm making an effort, I hope perhaps all of us will.
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a post of gratitude.. to you!   
12:11am 27/05/2009
  I'll place this on all of the networking sites that I'm a part of, as it is intended for everyone. This past week, I have graduated from college, and gone to Balticon 43.. an event to remember.

For going to college, as many of you know, it was a pretty new experience for me, having only gone up to the 7th grade in school, I really wanted to go to college, and make it through, as proof for myself that I can make things happen. As for making it there, there are many people that were such a strong part of my life, and so strong in my life and helping me when I needed it... especially when my father died. I never would of had a chance of going or making it without you.

College has been a pretty crazy experience for me. I don't feel that people should have to go to college just to make it in this world, and in many cases it seems more like a hinderance.. for some people it seems to do much good, and I'm really glad I went, as it gave me the opportunity to meet many of the awesome people that are in my life today, and to go live in Japan for a year, leading to my decision to move back there in just a few months. I thought that college wasn't the right place for me several times throughout.. and various chaoses through like heart surgery made me feel like stopping for a while might not be a bad plan, though somehow it always worked out, and now it's really done! I'm really happy that I was still able to go to conventions and hang out, and meet all of you especially at the couches.. though I know I wasn't around so much this last year. There are others still, through my heart surgery, and other more awesome times, were so helpful.. Greg, Diana, Steph, Kristy, Keith, Marc, Celes... everyone in the neighborhood and beyond, thank you so much for being the best family that anyone could ask for.

Now for Balticon! This was like so super awesome I just couldn't believe. Yay Balticon volunteers! We really got the work done no problem this year. I hope you all decide to come back and help out next year too, I'll of course try to bring a posse from Japan to help out also. While every con has its moments, there's something about Balticon that really makes everything and everyone fit together... gaming was awesome.. was really into jungle speed and zendo this con.. and especially getting to see everyone! It's kinda crazy, I spend all year waiting around for Balticon, now that it's past, Japan feels so much closer, happy and scary all at the same time. I can't wait to head off there, though I used to consider it my only home, I realized when I went there the first time, that my friends here in the US mean too much to me to consider it such these days. So don't expect to get rid of me that easy! I'll still be back for Balticon every year, and feel free to visit me anytime no matter where, or maybe even especially because of where I am! Travel is good after all ee.

Anyways I really made this post because I felt like I needed to say that I can't believe life is as awesome as it really is, I used to believe such contrary information.. and I'm sure that some people still do, and well even to the best of us such feelings come along sometimes.. I just feel so lucky to have the friends and community that I do, and if it weren't for you, each individually and all together.. then I would be stuck in that thought like I used to be, so thanks for being awesome, and making me feel awesome.. I'm really lucky to have such wonderful people about. >hugs and cuddles for all
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synthdreads and grassroots art campaign!   
11:33pm 24/04/2009
  Hey folks, it's been a while since I posted. Guess life has just been really busy, between cello, finishing school, work, hanging out with my best friend and her new baby, cons, the rune factory addiction, getting ready to start a tour group to Japan, and a new business, I don't really have much "free time" per say. But that's ok, life kinda rocks at the moment. Celes and I just finished a synthdread job for a friend! You can check it out at: http://www.yarn-fetish.com/synthdreads/synthdreads.html . Aside from that, Celeste and I are getting ready to move to Japan! We're going to do geek/economy tours for folks, so if you've ever been interested in going to Japan, but are scared to go without the language, or think it's too expensive, or would just like a guide on the scene, feel free to get in contact about! We plan to do our first tour in August! Seems I'm all about the advertisements these days, heh. Anyways, one more, as a matter of fact, the most important announcement I have to make. So as you know, I'm getting ready to leaven the country, and as most of you know, my father was an artist for a living. I have about 900 paintings to my name. I've wanted to get his art out there for a while, but I've lacked the dedication to get it into galleries, so I'm now working on an alternate plan. If anyone out there would like to have some paintings to hang around their place, then just let me know. The plan is, hang some paintings, free of charge. At the very least, I have paintings sitting in storage that I really would rather be viewed as they were intended. As a part of this plan, we'll(my brother and I) put a label on the back with a price, and if you happen to find someone with an attachment to a painting, and wants to buy it, they can contact us, and we'll be negotiable from the price. If you can find someone interested, then we'll give you 10% of the commission of the settled price. Or if you find yourself attached, we'll give you a good discount! In the meantime, you won't actually be obliged to sell it, just enjoy the paintings existence like they were meant to be! If you're interested, then contact me! Even if you live far away, I travel around, and you might be in my intended plans. Or maybe we can figure something out. We'll probably make up a bit of a written agreement about the paintings, and then maybe sometime in the future, I will want to collect them again if not sold, but I'll take care of everything with that if the time should come. You can check out the art at www.cooldaddio.net and pick out what seems interesting to you and talk to me.

The last thing I wanted to mention, and honestly this is the most important. I'm moving to Japan, and that means I won't be in the US. It's exciting, but i'm kind of sad about leaving all of my friends. I've decided that I'm going to come back to the country for Balticon, so you can go to Balticon and finid me, but in the mean time, I've got a few months left! So if you want to hang out sometime before I leave, I'd love that, because I'm really going to miss my friends. Ah so much insanity! Anyways I guess this has been a long enough post, so I'll head off now.
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one year out.   
12:49pm 23/02/2009
  So as of Febuary 19th, I am one year out of my open heart surgery. Have my 1 year check up in another few days... I've been having some weird chest pains in my dreams for a few days now, and I can't tell whether I'm dreaming that they exist or they actually do, but somehow I feel like they actually do. It will be good to see how everything is going after all this. For this past year, I've been a lot more exhausted than usual, so I'm trying to get myself working again.. I've been exercising, which for now is going to stop until my echo this Friday, just been too exhausted...
In exciting news, last weekend at Katsucon I was working guest relations, which was lots of fun.. hanging out with Japanese bands and making sure all their arrangements were made.. good times. This coming weekend is this historical conference thing that my thesis is going to be presented at. Lots of formalities, but is a nice step, it's going to be published soon! Dear gahd I've been editing it to death. I may post it somewhere to be read, it's about the migration of go from China to Japan. In the meantime, guess it's back to school and work!
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I'm so old.   
04:04pm 25/01/2009
  So today is my last day of break like ever basically. Tomorow I start school, and when it stops from then, I'm done with school. Atleast for a whiles anyways. That's just a weird thing to think about.. from here on out, I have to actually survive or some such, and obviously my death record shows I'm not very good at that, heh. Over all though, I kinda feel like I need to be done for a while. What I was thinking today though, is that with the plans Celes and I have, by next year, I'll already be gone from here. I don't think I was focusing on that at all. It's just all so strange in my head. On top of all that, all I do now is study, I'm so good at just studying.. these days I play my cello, study my kanji, and yeah.. well it's fun times, so I guess I can't complain. Steph is having her baby sometime this week which is pretty crazy. Aaaannd yeah.. funny head space la laa la!  
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twee la la!   
06:12pm 14/01/2009
  So today was pretty nifty kean. Last week, Celes, Alex and I went around town to go to various music stores and such. we went to a bus stop from one store to continue downtown, and this guy from the parking lot started saying really excitedly behind us "yes! yes! I won the bet! I won $50!" and he comes over to us and says to Celes, "hey hey, we had a bet, he bet you were a woman, but I know you were a guy, would you tell him you're a guy so I can get my $50?" and Celes said no, of course, and he's just going on and on, not angry at all or anything, but just acting like he refuses to believe Celes is a girl, and I hugged her and kissed her, and that just made him think even more that Celes was a guy, so I told him that she's not a boy, and took Celes and we left, and I was just kinda angry and said fuck you to them and we walked away.

So I called the manager and explained what happened on Saturday. He asked me to call back this week to make sure everything went fine. We confirmed the story, and the guy who was acting stupid was fired. The other guy was let off with a warning, which I feel fine about, since he didn't cause any problems, and was trying to calm the other guy down.

I just feel really happy that the situation was so well dealt with. Sometimes I really hate the ignorance of humanity, but then all the good people make me feel so much better.
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insanity is fun.   
11:06pm 19/12/2008
  So life has been really crazy lately. I'm spending the winter local this winter.. that'll be about a first, and probably a last, strange to think about. Today I went to school with my friend Katie, and Alex and Celes, at the bus time, this guy came by jogging, and then left, and then came back, stood around for a while, and then randomly started singing happy birthday and clapping his hands.. perfectly mundaine seeming fellow.. just kinda nice to see in the world, and while this was going on, Katy unexpectedly started eating a carrot, all so surreal and drunk seeming. Then at school, I took two exams, both I had studied for, though one more than the other, assuming that one would be harder, complete opposite. Though no matter how much I would have studied for the easier seeming one, I would have done terribly.. I think it should be ok in the end though. Anyhow, were going to see Repo! the genetic opera tonight, but the party disbanded, and I decided to make it the christmas flick, and instead get pizza, and watch kurikata no happiness, which I'd highly recommend! At the pizza place, the cashier passed out and had a seizure.. luckily we live two blocks away from a hospital, so they just drove her over there, and within 5 minutes, the drop off was already back with a report that she was doing ok. Some technologies just aren't quite fast enough yet. Anyhow I guess I really just want to say that chaos is what I thrive in, and for a while things seemed boring, but not quite as much anymore. It's happy. I'm really attempting to go to arisia this time around. Am working on attempting to put a room together, so if anyone is looking, let me know!  
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tweeeee so close!   
11:18am 19/11/2008
  I'll talk about a few things here. First of all I'll mention that this week has been like so happy. I've officially registered for the last classes I need to graduate! Yaaaay! I can't wait to be done with school! So I've just been feeling really happy about the way things are going..

One more thing quickly.. I'm going to Philcon this weekend, but I don't have crashspace for me or Celes, so if anyone has space for us, let me know. We don't take up much space and are willing to chip in a bit!
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eee dilemmas and cello woes!   
10:24pm 23/10/2008
  This has been a week for fixing things up. For those who don't know, my computer went out of commission... thanks to Keith, it's working again, but I decided that it was time for a new laptop. I got an EEE pc 1000.. which is the cutest little thing, and runs only off a nice 40 gig solid state drive, with a 1.6 gigahertz processor speed, and a gig of ram, it runs well so far... the problem? ralink 2790 wireless card. This thing is so difficult to get running on anything other than xandros (default linux system on eee pc) and apparently backtrack. The complication on the internet forums comes with the ralink 2860 linux driver. There is a fix to get that one working, that is said to fix 2790, except it doesn't. It's grouped with it because the windows 2860 driver also works for mine, but not linux. So for a week now I've been attempting to fix a wireless card that I don't even have installed! Hopefully with ndiswrapper, it should be up and running by later today.

In other "breaking" news, two of my cello strings popped with no warning a few days ago, one even being one that I never use! So I have learned the harsh reality of weather effects on instruments. Need to get a humidifier to keep it in tune and everything now. Though strings have been fixed up no problem now!

Lastly, concerning me! For those of you who mostly know me through livejournal, I'll bet you'll say, "ah, that mfakes sense" and for those who know me in real life, I bet you'll be confused to know that I got put on antidepressants this week! The shocker, it's not for any depression or manic behavior of any kind. It's for nerve damage! So when they cut you open, especially around the lungs and chest, and pulling ribs and so on... there's a strong chance, they're gonna hit some nerves, and they did. I've been suffering of really bad pains in my lungs for about a month now. Why did it take so long to kick in? The blow to the nerves at first literally just completely desensitizes them, so they don't have any sense. Then slowly the nerves begin to regain consciousness. This process can be painful, I can testify to this. So to get rid of the pain, a low dosage of anti depressants works most of the time. Apparently the main function of anti depressants is to numb out nerves, so hopefully I should be without pain, and maybe complete numbness of all senses sometime soon!
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ARE mad!   
09:56am 06/10/2008
  I'm just gonna post a little bit here... first of all, why does everyone laugh when I say I'm emo? This LJ is like the dark spot of the universe! Apparently though unless you're complaining about it beyond LJ it doesn't count, because everyone just laughs at me when I say such a thing. Anyways aside from that, my computer is out of commission for the moment, and I am contemplating getting a tiny cute new one. I seem to be a curse to computers lately though... rah.. emo. Anyways.. I'm also taking an upper level computer science course right now.. I just got back my first exam with an A! which is reeeaaallly funny, because I was flipping through, and some how for the answer define: base pairs, I put "ARE mad" exactly just that.  
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11:37pm 28/09/2008
  I just felt I needed to make this post, to say something about the way things go. My surgery will be taken care of, I will make sure of it, because I make sure things get accomplished. However, just a comment on the way it's happening. Medical assistance has used every excuse to say that I can't receive medical assistance to cover it. In the end, I think it will come down to charity, but I make this post as a statement of how the government fails in principle.

I was born with a heart defect that I have suffered from my entire life. Because I was born with it, it never felt like a defect to me, and I felt perfectly healthy, and have always been a pretty active person, and have managed to accomplish a lot with my life. Because of this, despite some people telling me I could apply for disability at any time (even as a child, I would have received some benefits (around the time people were discussing such matters with me, I was 16, and would have received about $150 every month. After I was an adult, if I had applied, I would have received $600 atleast, every month. I am now 22 years old, and the total of this alone adds up to over $30,000. My surgery, had I of gotten it younger, would have cost more money due to technological set backs, and would have been riskier, as the last time I saw a cardiologist before this crisis, my doctor had grave concerns for the situation. Instead, I decided that disability to me felt like a stigma that I did not want to place upon myself, despite the fact, that any doctor would have said I was disabled. Instead I chose to live a life as productive as possible, and only respond to the situation when I was in dire need. Now, because I decided not to apply, and placed no burden on the state, they say that even though I was disabled and would have remained so for the remainder of my life which would have been short lived without this surgery, they state now that because I had not applied before, I can somehow magically make $35,000 to cover a surgery, which in total adds up to far less than benefits I would have received had I of applied earlier. Now again I state that I will get this cost taken care of, as I said, it's what I do. But the fact of the matter is, every medical assistance case worker I have talked to has said that had I of gotten the surgery one month earlier, when the case was both impossible (due to my unprepared state, the crisis had not happened yet), and when I was 21 years old, then it would be covered by the state without a question. I don't post this for sympathy of any sort, nor to show how messed up the situation is.. I change that, that is exactly why I am posting this. Because I don't understand how a system that supports judgements like these can be a state of affairs to accomplish much of any system of rule. Meanwhile both people I'm living with are applying for government jobs, and I'm in a major that primarily leads to government jobs. While I hold no grudges about it, something about all of it just sickens me to death. I don't know that I could ever feel support again for a government that allows such a, what I feel, corrupt, situation to occur.
I need help about now.   
08:10pm 19/09/2008
  I JUST go tmy court date for the medical assistance thing tonight.. It arrived at Kristy's two days ago with a postdate of September 16th, and a court date of September 23rd, this Tuesday. It's a Friday night, and I need to find free legal assistance by Tuesday, does anyone know what I should do?  
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an update for anyone who was wondering.   
11:24pm 17/09/2008
  Things go crazy. Settled in to the new place, practicing on my cello, being happy with Celes, still missing friends, wanting to go to more cons, or travel about a bit more, doing lots of school work. That is pretty much the gist of things now. I miss talking to people really, something about every conversation I've been having lately has been feeling terribly artificial, and I'm feeling much better just trapped in my own head with my own thoughts, which is maybe just me adjusting to a new state of mind. People nowadays, everywhere I go, I see them as "people" which isn't really how I viewed them before.. everyone was some how an "individual," but now it all blends together. Ah well, I'll try talking and put an effort more and see what happens.  
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this journal has been so happy lately   
06:23pm 08/09/2008
  So I figured I'd add some emo about. I'm in surreal space. My life isn't that bad, it's actually really very happy lately, but today is just awkward. Four years and one day later, we buried some of my father today. Somehow everything right now feels out of place. Going to my father's burial, followed by a philosophy class, followed b the harbor, then a cafe, then home.. I feel exhausted, and I feel just unresponsive to everything. Nothing feels all that right at the moment, and I just feel like being alone.. which I am at the moment.. not that I don't feel like talking to anyone, I just don't want to see anyone at the moment. It's surreal space.  
01:49am 06/09/2008
  I got a cello today! It's soooo pretty and makes even prettier noises! Always wanted to learn really, but now I'm finally going to work on it. I had my first lesson today... holding the bow is so strange since it feels like I'll drop it when I hold it. Aside from that, moved into the new place which really nice.... school started this week too, it's been such hectic changes.. I kinda miss just sitting around on my computer, but at the same time, everytime I'm here, I wonder what I do. Ah and a note: if you didn't find out yet, the garden of sinners is Kara no Kyoukai. tweeeee! happy.  
moving day!   
09:31am 30/08/2008
  People have asked that I keep updated, so here goes! Today Celes, Alex and I are moving to our new place! It's really exciting since we'll literally just be down the street from the farmer's market, and today's the market! Life's been really happy this Summer, amazingly both travelling and staying behind in Baltimore. I've taken up cello, which I really got in the habit of practising since staying in Baltimore.. and I have my first *real* lesson next week. Aside from that, just having Celes around has made me so happy. Even staying in the house I was in when my dad died, around the time he died, I can find nothing but happiness right now.. it feels like I've really improved myself. It feels ok to think about my father, and I'm so glad that I had him in my life, I can talk about him no worries, but not having him isn't making me bitter like it used to. To be honest, I feel like going to Europe for a second time is what did that to me. Both times I kept a journal reflecting on my thoughts and events and such. I was so happy being there the first time, it felt like nothing in the previous year mattered, and I didn't want to return, because I knew I had no family to return to (no offence to friends, you were the only thing really keeping me any what happy in the US, and otherwise I would have dropped out of school and stayed in Europe). This time being there, I still had an amazing time, but the thought of leaving didn't hurt so bad, knowing I could return to the orphanage and Diana, and Celes but of course, on top of everything, life is pretty nice here right now!  
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10:56pm 10/08/2008
  I added a few new people from worldcon, so if you were wondering, this is me! Worldcon was really much fun, though it made me miss Japan far too much. Still good seeing friends again and meeting new people... lately I've been alot less inspired to volunteer. I did work about 20 hours even still, but there's been other things I've been doing, and it's just not feeling as interesting as it used to. Dancing has become quite fun though.. there were a couple dances we did at the ball I'd like to know what were.. somehow dancing used to scare me or some such, just the idea of it made me think.. nope not so interesting.. but I've come to find that it's really fun actually... somehow everywhere I go nowadays, it feels like steampunk is following me, the con felt even themed in it everywhere I went. They made liquid nitrogen ice cream several times during the con, which I really want to do sometime, but kept missing it, though I was in time to eat some atleast at one point. I suppose that's most my random post for now.. listening to Rasputina again.. so happy..  
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